But it is the case that I wish Matt and I could have got together before any of this.'Īlex met her partner Matt, 43, over four years ago when they worked together on the same radio show. They're intelligent, bright young people. However, that's not the case - I do enjoy their company. If you take that to its literal conclusion, yes, I suppose you could say I wish they'd never been born. 'But I'd still say, if I could have everything just the way I wanted, it would be me and Matt. 'My feelings have changed since then,' she says. Yet three months later, she still doesn't regret her candour, modifying it only slightly. One newspaper headline after the launch ran with her admission, 'I wish my stepchildren had never been born'. Another confesses, 'I'm worried because I hear so many of you love your kids and I, well, don't.'īravely, or possibly naively, Alex hasn't been afraid to air such dark thoughts. Another asks for advice on how to deal with a teenage stepdaughter who 'can't even stand to hear my name being mentioned'. The dilemmas are ones that usually remain hidden: the stepmother full of guilt because her young stepson told her he loves her and she was 'struck dumb' because she 'doesn't have those feelings'. You sense a certain amount of glee at being able to express such forbidden feelings about their stepchildren or 'skids' as they're not so lovingly referred to. I'm green with envy! How did you manage it?!' Reassurance comes swiftly, 'I would do anything not to have my stepdaughter over every other weekend,' and 'Ever so lucky. 'Am I terrible for being glad he's not allowed access to the kids?' reads another. 'Weekend from hell,' moans one stepmother. It has already attracted more than 1,200 members, many logging on to confess to what would be completely taboo in any other context.

'Love is still too heavy a word to use now.'Īlex admitted as much very publicly when she was launching her website, offering support to other stepmothers who fall in love with a man but not his children. I want to be part of their developmental process and I enjoy their company but. I don't feel the same intensity for them that I do for my partner, parents or even siblings. 'Do I love my stepchildren?' reflects Alex, 30, and a freelance radio presenter.

Dark matter am i not human track